Wednesday, June 5, 2013

View Without a Room

Three years ago today, I married my wonderful husband.

Our days (and nights) have been a whirlwind ever since, full of pregnancies, babies, trepidation, fear, confusion, frustration, elation, joy. We've been a heck of a team through it all, and I'm more thankful than ever to have chosen him as my partner in life.

However, it's a good thing that we went ahead with the honeymoon that I was tempted to skip out on, being four months pregnant at the time. We've had very little time for romance, since.

There are things that we could- and likely should- do for ourselves as a couple, sure. Make arrangements, set aside time. For reasons that I can't entirely explain, however, I've never done the research required to find a sitter. The (very) few times that Tom and I have gone out alone together, we've relied on family, who are neither geographically quite close enough nor schedule-wise quite available enough to offer their services very often in the evenings.

Now that there are three babies, all in an age range that requires intimate adult facilitation through bedtime, and each with a unique and ever-changing routine, I am reluctant to even ask family. I have yet to manage all three at bedtime by myself, and though Tom has survived the experience once, that was back when Mia was a bit easier to coax to sleep.

Of course, I'm looking at it from the perspective of someone whose energy level has dipped down to zero by that point in the evening from wrangling three babies all day, which makes everything regarding said babies seem a little more impossible to do. While juggling the three of them can get tricky, a little creativity in the attempt can go a long way. Sadly, creativity tends to fly out the window for me when I'm "running on empty," but I would hope that wouldn't be the case for someone fresh on the scene. Also, I've heard it said that kids tend to be much better behaved for sitters than for their parents. Recalling my own childhood  and babysitting experiences, I judge that to be a likely assessment.

So really, it all comes down to me, and to Tom, and our commitment to doing more for ourselves. Maybe we'd be more motivated if we weren't so tired. Maybe we'd be less tired if we were more motivated...

In any case, while I can't deny feeling some measure of disappointment at the prospect of celebrating our anniversary at home, with the kids (like usual), I've got to say that the view here, at least, is lovely, and has been for the past three years.

On our first anniversary:

Who could stray far from those incomparable cheeks?

On our second:

I still get lost in those dreamy eyes.

And now, on our third:

She's growing so fast, but she's still so little, and she needs me so much.

There's always been a little baby (and for the last couple of years, a toddler or two) to tug at my heartstrings and make me reluctant to be anywhere else. It helps that Tom is such an amazing cook, and tries to bring a little luxury to my palate in the comfort of our home. The menu tonight included steak au poivre and risotto.

But while I do so love my husband's cooking, and the pleasure of my children's company, a nice, candlelit dinner and some intimate ambiance might be a nice change once in awhile. Or, in all honesty, simply some nice, uninterrupted adult time pretty much anywhere but here.

Channeling Eliza Doolittle, but with something a bit different in mind: All I want is a room a few hours somewhere...

Maybe next year, assuming we even know what to do with ourselves once there's no longer an infant in the mix... What must that be like, I wonder?