I have thirty minutes until I turn into a pumpkin, and this post gets recorded tomorrow instead of today. (Though maybe not, on the second count, since blogger insists on recording my posting times in Pacific Standard.) In any case, it's late, and I'm tired, and I'm not sure that I have a whole lot to say, anyway.
My Dear Raspberry,
I'm counting down the days until this Wednesday, when I will get to hear your tiny little heartbeat again. I know that when my appointments start coming closer together, I will be grumping about having to get out of the house more to go to them, but right now they feel too few and far between. Has it really only been a month since I last went? It feels like it's been much longer. I hope to remember to ask what your beats per minute are, just to satisfy my curiosity. There's a wive's tale that I've heard that claims faster heartbeats mean a girl, and slower mean a boy. For your brother and sister, it was true. Abby's bpms were always up in the 170s (early on, anyway), while Michael's started off, and stayed, in the 150s during those brief doppler checks. I have a feeling that you are a little girl, and my instincts were right for your brother and sister, but I'll have to wait until you're born to see if I am three for three, since I am determined to hold off on that revelation until then. I'm excited about experiencing that moment of "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" but I'll tell you- it's not making our quest to find a name any easier. Some days I really wish I knew what to expect, just so that we could narrow our focus. As it stands now, we haven't a clue what we want to do in either scenario. I know it will all come out okay in the end, though. After all, we didn't definitively pick a name for either your brother or your sister until we "met" them. And though we selected your sister's name from among the two choices we had narrowed down, your brother's wasn't even on our short list. It will simply be one more thing to look forward to on that beautiful day, when I get to meet you, to hold you, and to finally learn your name.