Nearly two years now since the birth of my oldest, and I've been trying so hard to truly live the denial that I've made no preparation at all. Not that I'll be doing much. I'd had pipe dreams of throwing a big party for her, but given that I haven't even managed to get her little brother baptized yet, I think I have to set my focus elsewhere for now. On doing little, but important things, like calling the church, and picking a date for (goodness' sake!). {sigh}
It all sounds so simple and easy, but somehow I turn it into something monstrous, and impossible, and it just doesn't get done.
Certain things though- they happen- with, or without me. Like my daughter's impending birthday. And no way am I going to let it go by uncelebrated. So things will be set in motion somehow, some way. Cake will be eaten, gifts bought and wrapped, pictures taken for posterity.
I just can't possibly explain to you how it will all go down- not until it's already happened- because I'll be flying by the seat of my pants through the whole thing. Thankfully, it will be a celebration amongst family, and family is naturally forgiving.
I did keep yesterday's promise, though. I gave Miss Abigail her prized Ghirardelli (caramel-filled) chocolate for a lunchtime dessert.
She loved every bite. In fact, the experience so inspired her that she was moved to sing out, "Ella, ella, ella, eh!" (From the chorus of Rihanna's Umbrella.)
Here she is, mid-ella.
And me? I'll be busy trying to function amidst the seemingly-eternal, clamoring mental refrain of, "I'm UN-prepared, I'm UN-prepared, I'm UN-prepared, I'm UN-prepared..." I'm like The Little Engine That Thinks It Can't.
But I will. And later, I'll look back, and wonder what all the fuss was about...
