Tuesday, December 11, 2012

And I'm Back.

Wasn't sure how soon I'd be allowed back here, but the recovery from the stomach bug's passage through our house isn't quite over yet. Sharon didn't get much sleep last night (nor chances to make up for it today), so she's letting me guest in again.

Michael has continued racking up clothing casualties in the post-stomach recovery. He's happy (see also: lack of the Big Meanie Tooth) and playful as ever, but with his digestive tract's reset button having been hit, he's also batting somewhere north of 80% when it comes to diaper blowouts. The big fun today was his third (maybe fourth--we don't even keep track at this point), which Sharon and I got to witness in real-time as he sat not three feet from us on the floor.

When you've seen as many blowouts as Sharon and I have, one of the things you start conversing about is "Well, how do you think it happened in quite this shape?" Not only did we not have to guess (as we were watching him as it happened), but we were treated to witnessing what is probably the worst position for a baby to be in when they have a blowout: sitting flat on the carpeted concrete floor. That kind of contact between tush and diaper doesn't leave a lot of give, and we watched as it quickly spread up the back of his shirt.

For some reason, I delayed in picking him up. Some may call it laziness, or simple disbelief at what I had just seen, but I maintain that I waited to ensure that he was finished with what he was doing before we took any corrective action*.

He wasn't.

No, my little overachiever decided he wasn't complete, and in fact managed to surpass his shirt's ability to soak up additional liquid**. If you've been reading closely, I'm sure you've already picked the three critical details of what we witnessed:

  • Blowout
  • Excess
  • Carpet

So, what happened next? Let me explain.


No, there is too much. Let me sum up: Sharon and I were once again absolutely mesmerized by the cleaning power of Oxy-Clean when sprinkled over an organic stain in carpeting and then adding boiling water.

Oh, and it turns out Abby loves Korean food--even a tiny bit of kimchi--but I'll leave that story for Sharon to tell when she's gotten more rest.

* - Admittedly, even by my own standards, this was ill-advised. When the baby is having the kind of issues that Michael is having, there's not going to be a significant pause in the action that you need to worry about. 

** - I really feel like there should be a technical term for that property. I'd really like to be able to say "At that point, the rate of his oncoming poop exceeded his shirt's <such-and-such>." Maybe Randall Munroe would know...